Withdrawls, Job Titles, and other random thoughts

I hope that I am not violating a Biblical principle by sharing this . . . really, I do, but if I am really writing about our family, then this is VERY RELEVANT!! So just know I'm not trying to be like a Pharisee or anything . . . just sharing.

I decided to give up Diet Dr. Pepper for Lent. I know. And yes, you read that right. If you have read 3 random blogs of mine, chances are good I invoked the name of Diet Dr. Pepper in at least 2 of them. I love my DDP (but because I will "suffer" through a Diet Coke when the best isn't available, I am really giving up all carbonated beverages). If I understand the point of fasting correctly, it is not about me proving what I can or can't do (although, I will be honest, one of the biggest hesitations I had in doing this was that I might fail because I am morbidly afraid of vomit, dentists, and failure!). Fasting is a physical way to remind me of my need for God or to be reminded to lay something before Him. The idea being, every time I have the urge to grab a DDP, I take a moment and spend some time praying or reflecting on God and who He is and what He has done. My mom and I laughed that I will praying all the time if I do that. Not a bad side effect. (Assuming the extreme dip in caffeine intake coupled with closing my eyes to pray does not equal falling asleep all the time instead.)

I had been contemplating giving them up anyway, or at least cutting back, because on our community group retreat, part of my answer to the question, "what relaxes you?", was a good bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper. Obviously, there are other things that relax me, but it was such an easy and true answer that I got a little concerned about my love for the fizz.

So . . . if I seem disoriented or mad or shaky or tired, just know that the tea and water and alternating aleve and ibuprofen aren't cutting my withdrawl enough. And maybe pray for my family who must endure this 40 days with me.

In related news, perhaps one reason I am dependent on the DDP so much is the crazy life that we lead. Caroline asked me today what a mom of one of her friends did for her job. I told her I didn't know and she should ask her friend. And in a moment of fatigue and humor, I said, and if she asks you what your mom does, tell her I run a circus. That is definitely what it feels like.

And, finally, I have never claimed to be a woman with lots of confidence. I am also a people pleaser and the thought of offending someone unnerves me. So let me just say to follower #16 who quit following me, I am sorry. For whatever I did to make you leave me. I hope it wasn't our dental issues or the fact that I let my daughter dress like a modern day modest Madonna; perhaps you heard that Sascha glued her lips together with superglue and feel you need to distance yourself from my delinquent parenting. Whatever the case may be, #16, you are always welcome back.

And if the randomness of this post doesn't attest to the fact that I am in withdrawl, maybe the confession that I have reached for the bottle that isn't there several times while posting will.