Not really, but if Chris Harrison was introducing it, that's what he would say!
Well, I'd like to start off by saying YOU ARE WELCOME. And here is why:
#1- You are welcome if you had never watched an episode/train wreck of Bachelor Pad and because of my post low those weeks ago, discovered that you too have a sickness whereby you derive great amusement and entertainment by watching people reveal their psychoness on national television whilst playing for $250k and potentially contracting untold numbers of communicable diseases. (Or as one of my friends put it "They make me feel so normal!")
#2- You are welcome of you would not be caught dead watching such filth on television and appreciate the fact that I have only wasted 2 posts of your time discussing it/embarrassing myself.
But because I KNOW I am not alone (check my facebook page the last several Mondays), I will offer a brief summary of what I have learned/observed from Bachelor Pad 2.
1) Much congratulations are due to the editing team from Brad Womack's 2nd Bachelor run. They had me convinced that Michelle was a crazy, crazy trashy girl. In fact, I believe that Michelle may be the sweetest, most honest, most sincere, funniest and SANEST girl to walk through those doors (twice). I ended up adoring her and THAT may be the most shocking revelation in Bachelor recap history.
2) I am HOPING BEYOND HOPE that Michael was acting when he said that he did not know that Blake and Holly were engaged. Holly didn't seem teary enough and Blake (while always a little sleazy when he grins) seemed to be hiding a smile and I really hope he would not be gloating about publically hurting the guy who helped his fiance win $125,000. (Not that I think they will actually get married, I mean come on, I waste my time watching the stuff but I don't buy it!)
3) THANK GOODNESS Kasey looked mortified when watching scene after scene after scene of him being a hee-haw! And how awkward when he apologized to Jake and basically shared an "I feel ya, man" moment?!
4) If looks could kill, Vienna's eye darts would have taken down every single person in that studio.
5) I am uber impressed at Justin (the "wrestler") and his many, many creative ways of coming off as a jerk. Yes, all of America was aware (and annoyed) that Kasey talked weird. Way to bring it up in front of all America and make us actually feel sorry for his voice.
6) The jury is still out on Erica--is she crazy or dumb or just good at playing the part? Her crystal gavel would probably rule her smart, beautiful, and amazing.
Personally, I would like to thank my DVR for recording this each week and allowing me to fast forward through commercials to lessen the time I wasted on the show and allowing me the ability to rewatch or pause as I laughed, cried and gawked.
I was annoyed by Ashley (the last Bachelorette) so I did not watch her season and since they chose a Bachelor from it (Ben) whom I have no interest in, I will probably not watch that either. I'm sure that ABC will suck me in again at some point, but for now, I will slightly elevate my reality TV/laundry folding distraction standards to the likes of Rachel Zoe's new season. I LITERALLY may never talk about it though because each week will involve me drooling over bags and clothes and locations that are beyond my budget and feeling the need to take a nap after just watching how BANANAS her life is and that is just not nearly as interesting as Melissa looking crazy as she tried to convince us all that she is only crazy on reality TV (which she keeps signing up to do).
2 days ago