Friday, February 24, 2012

Sigh of relief

Yesterday was a hard day for me as a mom. I can't remember if I've mentioned it here, but Tru has a degenerative corneal disease. Our amazing eye doctor (the lovely and talented Dr. Brent James) caught it very early and has been way on top of it, so his prognosis is great. In a manner very uncharacteristic of myself, I googled it once the day we found out and only clicked on one link (a reputable one). I read the information, I cried for about 5 minutes and then I dried my tears and said, "It's going to be ok."

And I truly believe that it will.

(By the way, googling ANY symptom is NOT recommended . . . my friend, Cory, and I have decided that apparently EVERYTHING is a symptom of brain tumors because every symptom we have ever googled has it listed as a possibility.)

Anyway, because of the disease, Tru's corneas are coned instead of rounded which makes glasses only partially effective. To slow it's progression and give him optimal sight (which I learned is critical by age 9), Tru Bud needs contacts. This made me sad for 2 reasons . . . One, have you ever seen anything cuter or more handsome than this?
 I don't want him out of glasses because I am in love with them! And, well, the second reason is because the thought of dealing with Tru and contacts made me a little . . . terrified, mortified, petrified, are you getting my point? It takes 2-3 of us to get eye DROPS in, you can imagine how well yesterday went as we attempted (with medical assistance) to put in a very small, hard contact. (They have to be hard to smush down the coning of his cornea.)

Let's just say when we left, I am pretty sure Dr. Julie (Brent's eye partner) left for the day . . . to drink heavily. I know I wanted to.

What broke my heart even more than the embarrassment of having my 8 year old throw a MAJOR fit/panic attack was the thing we had to keep repeating to him . . . "We don't have a choice, buddy." For just a little bit, that reality weighed heavy with me. Oh yeah, he has a DISEASE. Contacts are not cosmetic or fun, they are necessary to slow the progression of a disease that could eventually lead to a corneal transplant. Boo.

We were able to get one contact in and out and quit while we were ahead(?). We will try again in a few days once Dr. Julie has had time to call in her tranquilizer prescription (I think I am kidding about that). And we all recovered from the incident and went on to have great days (even Tru who is so resilient and always has been).

And, today, I am thankful that yesterday is over. I am enjoying the fact that the only thing on the calendar today is the option to meet a group of buddies at the park. I am loving Sascha's self done hairdo and bracelets (thanks, Amy! She has NOT taken them off, except to bathe).

I am so glad it's Friday and can't wait to cheer some dancing on tomorrow (RCDC ETJODT!) I am ecstatic that I didn't give up diet coke again for Lent (sorry, Mom). I am pumped that by going gluten free I have been able to stop taking my thyroid medicine and feel better than I have in YEARS!

There is so much to be thankful for, so today is that sigh of relief that comes when you have had a hard day that doesn't define you. It's remembering that God formed Tru in my womb . . . every little detail right down to that cute button nose and coning cornea and has a plan for Tru's good that includes keratoconus. And it's a sigh of relief because the alternatives to what's going on with Tru's eyes weren't as simply fixed with contacts. (And I didn't learn that info from google.)

Well, I'm off to shower--I want to be a blessing to those friends at the park, not someone they can't stand down wind of.


  1. I'm so sorry about Tru. Didn't know all that. I do know that my little sister Rachel had to start wearing contacts at the age of 5 and she managed to do it pretty well. Never ever wore glasses and I'm pretty sure she had gas-permeables. I do and I have to wear them for various reasons and they really aren't bad. Truthfully, they're easier to put in your eye than soft contacts. I tried those and went back to gas perms. Hang in there, Rache. You're a great mom!

  2. I wore gas permeables from age 10 until I had Lasik - really not bad at all. I still remember when I first got them and how weird they felt. But that feeling went away quickly, and I really didn't mind them for the 23 years I wore them. Wow... I'm old. Best wishes to Tru!