Dear Facebook Spam People,

(if that is even your real name)

I have 4 children. They like to hang on me. Frequently when I am checking to see my friends' hilarious status updates or beautiful vaca pictures said children are reading over my shoulder or from my lap or any other position that they seem to be able to get into and snoop my stuff.

When these offspring see the pictures of their friends at the beach or the mountains or the lake or Krispy Kreme with a sprinkle donut or any other assortment of expected Facebook pics and videos, I am only uncomfortable because of the pressure they are putting on my less-than-stellar-after-4-kids bladder.

When, HOWEVER, these pictures happen to be strange women I have not friended in birthing positions that even TLC is frightened by or large breasted women who have forgotten their bras and t-shirts before taking their pictures or Brittany Spears clones getting "caught by their dad" for things that don't belong on my fb page, I am EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE and PRETTY DURN ANGRY!!!!

PULEASE.......for the love of all that is good--oh wait, that won't appeal to you!

THEN JUST STOP!!!!!! Seriously. STOP.

Trick me all you want with fake pet videos. SPAM away with Rover and Fido. BUT. PLEASE. DON'T. MAKE. ME. QUIT.THE FACEBOOK. BECAUSE. YOU. ARE. A. BUNCH. OF. GREEDY. SPOILED. LAZY. PERVS.

Kindly and Sincerely,
Rachel