Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas

I get pretty emotional around the holidays. (Shut up, Josh, I know "around the holidays" isn't the only time I am teary.) I love the sentiment and the specialness and memory making. I love buying presents and watching people open them--to me it's like saying, "I know you and I love you and I bought you this because it made me think of you!" Even gift cards can seem personal when you know it brings that person joy.

I also love the real meaning of Christmas. The whole Jesus thing gets me. Bo and Sascha were little babies their first Christmases and I found myself staring at them all the time wondering how Mary felt. I used to think she must have felt sad because He was going to have to die on the cross, but then I remembered that at the time, they all thought the Messiah was going to come and save them from Rome and tyranny and reign as a king, not live a lowly life and then die for their sins. Can you even imagine what it was like to look down at your baby and KNOW HE WAS GOD?! I mean, I used to look down at my babies and just get overwhelmed with joy and love and responsibility. My stomach would get all fluttery because I had so many feelings. But Mary had God. Wow.

I get teary, too, wondering what Christmas eve was like for God the Father and Jesus. When Granny died, I started thinking about how short (in the grand scheme of time) our earthly separation would be before I got to see her again in heaven and hang out for eternity. It didn't really lessen my pain any. Or when Josh traveled for weeks at a time a few years ago, even though we could talk by phone or skype, I missed his actual presence. I know time is different for God the Father (you know a day is like a minute or an hour or whatever), BUT He was sending His SON to earth for over 30 years to be tempted and tried and hated and eventually killed after taking on all of our sins.

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. Traditions, smells, family, great food, memories, music, lights, candles, laughter . . . but mostly, that sweet baby who chose to come to us because we were literally lost without Him. He gave up a throne and a host of angels and hanging out with God to spend hard time here JUST FOR US. Because He loves us. Because we need Him and He thinks we are worth it.

That's the gift I most enjoy each year.

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