Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Sassy is 4 . . . sniff, sniff, sniff

I really am so, so thankful to have a happy, healthy, thriving little girl. I have enough kids, enough friends, and read enough blogs to know that it is a gift and a miracle and a blessing.

That being said (imagine the most pitiful voice ever), "WHY DOES MY BABY HAVE TO GROW UP?!" I guess because Sascha is the last, every milestone is a little more bittersweet. (Of course some milestones are also a little more exciting . . . NO MORE POTTY TRAINING EEEEVVVVEEERRRR, etc.) This week, however, I've been sentimental and a little teary. Four. That's a big one to me. Three is still toddlery . . . still talking disjointedly, and my 1st 3 kids were still in diapers to some degree on their 3rd birthdays. 3 was still kind of babyish. But 4 . . . nope, 4 is preschool. 4 is a big kid. When Caroline turned 4, I was pregnant with Bo and when Tru turned 4, I was pregnant with Sascha, and when Bo turned 4, I had a 2 year old. But poor Sascha has to live with the curse of reminding me that my baby years are behind me, that life is moving forward to a new and exciting and fun phase, and that we are leaving behind years of sweet and memorable and amazing moments with littles.

Yesterday, we blew it out! We opened presents, ate at Cracker Barrel, shopped, went to the movies, got cupcakes, went to Razorback Pizza where we ate pizza, cake, played games and opened more presents. And we showered her with kisses all day. She was SOOOOO excited and told everyone she saw, "I four today, it's my birthday." Adorable and exhausting and fun!

I can't remember what time Tru has karate each day, I forget why I walk into a room, and sometimes, I look up in my car, and don't recall one moment of the drive. BUT, I can remember smells and emotions and vivid details from each of my kids' births. Sascha's day was no exception. The night before, uncertain of gender or names, Josh and I sat around and talked about who the little peanut in my belly was going to be. Josh was CONVINCED she was another boy, so he "generously" agreed to let me choose the name if it was a girl. (Side note, he had picked the other 3 kids' names!) We woke up early the next morning and were out the door by 5:30 a.m.

By lunch time, this precious little bundle was in my arms. The overwhelming joy I felt hearing her cries is indescribable. Second to that joy, was the bliss in hearing Bryan say, "It's a GIRL!!" I cried and told Josh, "I didn't realize how much I wanted her to be a girl!!" Then Bryan asked, "So, who is this?" and I knew that I was looking at my sweet Sascha Jane. I didn't care that no one else had ever caught my passion for that name or that no one knew how to spell it--she was Sascha Jane. And I laugh at least once a week at how PERFECT that name fits her! (Moment of truth, I googled her name a couple of times to make sure Sascha was the way I wanted to spell it!)

 I was also pretty stinkin' sure that our little family was finally complete. 

Sascha, you not only completed our family, you have filled it with laughter and adventure and sass and love. You embrace life in a way I wish I could emulate, and then bottle and sell. We all need a little Sassy in us. You aren't afraid to tackle scary things or hard things (as long as it's not an automatic flushing toilet). You can make friends with anyone and could talk to a wall. You have passion and determination that are next to impossible to move, and while there are times (like at Target or a restaurant or pretty much anywhere else in public) that your stubborn nature is humbling, I pray that we can harness it and use it for good and for God. I see big things in your future--you are loved and adored by so many and could charm the socks off of anyone. I love to watch you dance and listen to you sing in your bed. I love how you will try to eat anything we put in front of you. Your imagination is amazing--you entertain me as much as you are entertaining yourself. I am so jealous and inspired by your resolve to be yourself and I think it's great that no one can influence your fashion or your opinions. Successful people stand out in a crowd without trying and that's you. You can read people really well (especially me) and seem to know how to work the room, and despite being babied around here, you have learned to care for those smaller than you and are a baby favorite with Collins and Davis. Caroline and Tru and Bo all fight over you, and I take some small solace and victory in knowing that for a little bit longer, I am still your favorite. Being your mommy is one of the biggest gifts and blessings in my life. And those chubby little arms can choke me with hugs for forever as far as I am concerned. I am super thankful for this year just me and you. I promise that while I will always mourn these lasts, I will never hold you back from launching forward, because, girl, you are going places and I don't want to miss it! I love you, sweet Sascha Jane. You are exactly who God created you to be and I love that you are sweet and spicy!

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