Motherhood

I once heard someone say that motherhood is not for the faint of heart.

Can I get an amen?

It is SO not for the faint of heart, instead . . .

It's smiling through clenched teeth at the old lady in grocery store who tells you (over the screams of your child) to "enjoy every minute because it goes so fast" and praying she's right, only to peek in at that same sleeping child hours later and beg God to make it slow down.

It's trading in your cute, clean car for a big, messy, smelly suburban.

It's knowing hurt and happiness and fear on levels you couldn't have imagined existed.

It's realizing you are completely capable of going nuts on a kid who hurts your baby (or toddler or elementary schooler or middle schooler).

It's the fulfillment of every "will never" that you have made since childhood . . . I will never say that to my kids, my kids will never act like that in Target, I will never annoy people with kid pictures and stories, I will never admit my parents were right.

It's willing away tears and forcing a smile to convince them that everything is ok even though you aren't convinced yourself.

It's doing just about anything for a smile.

It's trusting God with the most precious thing you have ever been given.

It's dying to get a break from them and feeling homesick as soon as you are alone.

It's realizing you will never sleep as deeply, watch the news the same, pray as intently, love as purely.

It's being thankful for all the hurts and mistakes you had and made if they might help your child avoid similar ones, or, at the very least, know that you really do understand.

It's feeling pain for strangers because, no matter what the differences, there is a unifying bond shared by moms.

It's knowing the difference between the I'm mad and I'm sad and I'm hurt cries.

It's being willing to be the crazy mom at the doctor to hear them say there is nothing wrong.

It's simultaneously hating that your child has challenges that not everyone else has and knowing at your core you wouldn't change a thing about him.

It's understanding God and His love and His grace and His mercy in a new and overwhelming way.

It's the best, worst, easiest, hardest, most unnatural, yet intuitive job I have ever had.