Tuesday, April 17, 2012

every second

i am in one of those seasons right now that is demanding every second of my day and when i fall exhausted onto my pillow, i have to allow myself some grace when i realize that the checklist is not completely checked off.

this blog has been one of the victims of this momentary time warp. and i hate it because 1) if i don't write it here, i may not remember it and 2) this is sort of an outlet for me--a chance to express myself and be myself.

but, baseball, soccer, karate, dance, dance, therapies and school are demanding. and 4/6 of those we CHOSE so i am also CHOOSING not to complain. it is fun to see my kids excel and develop--to watch bo get a little more in tune with the game of soccer and less in tune with making shadow puppets on the field . . . to see sascha interact with kids around her age and practice some self control as she twirls to "you are my sunshine" at "balyay" . . . to hear the ping of the bat when tru connects with the ball . . . to watch his confidence soar with each karate lesson . . . to spend time with caroline on dance trips and build into our relationship all the while watching her get better and better at dance--these are things i am happy to be exhausted watching.

the reality of literally needing to be in 3 places at one time while josh is working or out of town has worn on me some, i won't lie.

i am sometimes a little better at being a mom when i am busy too. maybe it's the fact that i am constantly pleading with God to help me or the lack of time for selfish ambitions and endeavors keeps me focused, but my house is a little neater and the tv shows a little scarcer and i am pretty ok with that.

the only thing that is making me panic and catching my emotions is that my time with bo is dwindling. my bo bo starts kindergarten very soon. and we all know that summer will race by and then he will be forever a part of that daily separation that leads to graduation and college (what, dramatic? me? noooo). i love my bo bo. he is a great little buddy to have around and i don't want to let him go.

so, heads up to you all, i am a little clingy with him some days because he is the best cuddler i know and i am soaking up every second i can get with him between now and mid-august.

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