I wasn't the mom I wanted to be this summer....

I wasn't the mom that I wanted to be this summer.

Sometimes, I was better. Some days, I really nailed the mom thing. We had donuts and we swam and we laughed and connected. Some days, I was intentional and had a meaningful one on one moment with multiple kids. There were days when I fought the urge to Facebook blast my awesomeness.

Sometimes, I was even more than the mom I wanted to be, I was the mom I needed to be. Some days, I said no. Some days, I made them use their money. Sometimes, I followed through with consequences that sucked for all of us. Sometimes, I modeled Jesus and selflessness and love even when it wasn't what I wanted to do. There were even days when we didn't use electronics.

And sometimes, more times than not, I would like to think that I showed them how much we all need Jesus. Which is a really nice way of saying, I blew it a lot. We didn't read everyday. There was no Bible verse memorized as a family. We used more than our fair share of electricity. We yelled. We fought. We ignored. We went to bed without goodnights. We ate junk. We were out of groceries. We didn't play a board game that lasted for days. And don't get me started on the condition of our house.

The honest truth is, the older my kids get, the harder the first day of school is for me. Did we have enough fun this summer? Will they want to come home when they grow up because we have great memories and traditions worth coming back for? I have THREE more first days with Caroline. HOLY CRAP. There is so much I meant to model for her. And teach her. And I am pretty sure that all I have done is model that I don't have it all together.

So. This year, instead of giving into the panicked, crippling guilt that I feel creeping up, I am going to try to believe that I really have shown them that we need some Jesus up in here everyday to make any of this work and worth it.

If I am perfect, if I have it all together, if I can be the mom that I want to me ALL BY MYSELF . . . then what? Then I have missed the chance to teach them that I can do all things through Christ, that His power is made perfect in MY weakness, that it is God who works in me to will and work for His good pleasure.

I learned well before their first birthdays that none of my kids were perfect. So why am I trying to pretend that I can be?

I was NOT the mom that I wanted to be this summer. I won't be the mom that I want to be this fall-despite the goals we set and the good intentions that I have to do it ALL WELL. But, I do have the ability to point them to the only One who will ever be everything that they need and who will give them more than they can ask or imagine. And I guess, once I settle my pride, that's even better than being the mom that I wanted to be.

Flying Everything

Wow. I won't even tell you how long it took me to get back into the blog. I mean technically into the blog so that I could type this.

Needless to say, it's been a while. When last we met, I had a rising 7th grader, 5th grader, 2nd grader and kindergartner. Caroline and I were headed to Haiti. At some point, I may do a quick summary of the last 3 years, but for now, I have something to say about how fast these last 3 years have gone.

When I named the blog Flying Years, I knew that the saying the days are long but the years are fast was true. I could look at my kids and think that time was passing us quickly, even if the days felt like they were creeping by.

Several years later, I'm sitting here, typing this at 3:07 in the afternoon, and wondering where the day went! Now, even the days are flying by!! And if I'm being honest, and that's kind of what I try to do here, I'm panicking. I mean, somehow, the sloth's pace of a day with diapers and sippy cups and squeezing in Target before naps has become this (sometimes frantic) deluge of activities and real life issues with long term effects, and time?? HA! - there's never enough time now!!!

When we go on road trips, assuming we can trick our kids into putting their devices down--sometimes this is accomplished by pretending to charge said device, but "forgetting" to plug it in. Anyway, when we are driving for an extended period of time, we have been known to play the alphabet game. For those of you who have never played, you look for signs and license plates and find words A-Z - the first one to Z wins. It has been the source of much joy, many laughs and also almost several sibling massacres. When you play, you are so focused on finding that next letter, that the time and the scenery not needed for the game become blurs to your mind and eyes. The next thing you know, you've reached the gas station or restaurant or destination and somehow the hour it took went by unnoticed or you doubt where you are because you missed some landmark you always see while you were desperate to find the ever-elusive Q.

I feel like I have been involved in a much similar game. I have been focusing on the next milestone (or current milestone) and time has flown by. Some of the landmarks blurred by and, all of the sudden, I'm sitting a gas station wondering how I got here so quickly.

Early on in parenting, I think we speed from milestone to milestone, And they are important and necessary. Kindergartners in diapers with pacies and not on solid foods is not the goal we have for our able-bodied kids. So we move to solid foods, excited for the day when we can go to a restaurant and order something off the menu for them. And we potty train, dreaming of what we will do with all the money we will be saving by not buying diapers (**PUT IT TOWARDS THEIR ORTHODONTIC FUND!!**). These are milestones and small victories for us and we march towards them all with anticipation because they come with rewards.

I have hit a phase in parenting--and to be fair, I was warned--where each oncoming milestone is met with some tears and sentimental trepidation. They are still victories. I want to raise great humans who thrive outside of my nest. But, the quickly approaching leaving the nest part is kind of breaking my heart. Sure, the older they get, the more freedom I have personally. (Of course, that time is spent begging God to reveal Himself to them, guide them, protect them, etc, or work to make money to support them, but theoretically, I have more "free time".) It is absolutely true that I do not miss wiping stinky bottoms. But there is something about that time where a shower is the ultimate victory, nap time and bedtime are my heroes and the monsters they are facing are imaginary and under the bed that is precious and innocent.

I will not wax on and encourage those with littles to cherish every moment, because, let's be real, the moments that smell like rotting human flesh poo are non-cherishable. Instead, I will just say, it's all true. Everything you have heard. And so enjoy what you can and take heart that even the rotting human flesh poo stories will, with some time and febreeze, be humorous and precious memories.

Hind sight is 20/20 and it's also often prettier than it really was. I'm going to hope and pray that, likewise, my kids will leave my house with some rose-colored glasses--that when they look back, my mistakes will be covered with some grace and understanding and humor and that they will learn some from them. And, I am going to try and appreciate more. And I am going to remind myself that much like potty training and nursing every 3 hours, this too shall pass--both the good and the bad, so hang on or hang in.

Trip of a lifetime

I know that I “wisely” and “knowingly” titled this blog “Flying Years”, but I am learning more and more with each passing day and week and month how true that phrase is. So much has been happening in the Bass family over the last several months, but it happens in the middle of our glorious chaos and is captured in pictures and phrases on Facebook and Instagram and on iPhones and (hopefully) in our memories.

Today, I am excited to share that in just a little over a week, Caroline and I will be heading to Haiti to serve a ministry there for a week. This was Caroline’s dream and desire and she sacrificed going to summer camp with her friends to go to Haiti. I would like to say that I was the instigator and led her to this opportunity, but she has been the driving force and is giddy with excitement. I am looking forward to this time with her and I am also grateful for a very tangible reminder that our family and our lives are beyond blessed with comforts and amenities and health and food and that we are beyond wealthy and “lucky.” I have been explaining that we will be seeing firsthand what “not fair” looks like. Caroline and I get to go with two of our best friends, Lacey and Kennedy Caldwell, as well as a woman who has become a dear friend to me, Alexis Ware, and her mentee, Alexis. The six of us will be helping with some painting and cleaning and crafts and any other way that we can assist Caleb and Debbie Lucien’s work in Haiti.

Of course, we would ask for prayers for our health and safety……we will be out of our comfort zone in so many ways and expect God to show us things there as we are a little more desperate for Him. In a moment of humility, I would ask for specific prayers for me regarding food safety. I have developed some pretty intense allergies over the last few years to gluten and nuts and pray that I never need to break out an epi pen while there.

Finally, we are still accepting and asking for financial support for our trip. It will cost about $2200 for the two of us to go and we have not met our goal. I am horrible about asking for help in any way, but as Alexis keeps reminding us, “This is not about me!” IF you would like to contribute financially to our trip, please follow this link to the Lessons for Life website (this is the ministry organizing our trip) and donate there. You will need follow that online donation up with an email to Alexis (alexis.ware@att.net) indicating that you would like it to go towards Caroline and Rachel Bass’ trip to Haiti.

We will be so grateful for however any of you choose to support us—prayers, financial, or checking in on Josh and the other 3 munchkins while we are gone. I cannot wait to give you a long and, I’m sure, emotional testimony to all that God does.

Love,

Rachel and Caroline

Sometimes

sometimes you have a day where you just want to wallow. today is not necessarily one of those days for me, but i had one recently. you know the kind--you just want to go ahead and let yourself feel how you feel. and to make matters worse, for part of that time i felt bad for feeling bad. you want to ruin a good self-pity kind of day? feel guilty for feeling that way--guilt, by the way, is never the kind of emotion i like to wallow in.

but sometimes you do have a day where you want to wallow. sometimes you don't want to put your chin up and acknowledge that someone somewhere has it worse than you or count your blessings--you just want to say that life sucks for that moment and it sure does look like a noticeable amount of people have it better. sometimes my husband is a jerk (sorry, Josh) and my kids are handfuls (and not the good kind) and my house is a wreck and my thighs feel jiggly and i wish i could take back 98% of what i have said or done that day. sometimes i wonder if i am successful or will ever feel successful. sometimes i wonder if i will ever feel rested or be able to sleep in without feeling bad or behind. sometimes i just want the remote for my car to work every time i try it (or at least while it's raining and i have bags in my hand and a couple of my kids in tow.) sometimes i have to tell my 4 year old to hurry because there isn't time to stop and lick the snocone before we miss the window to make it to the carpool line before it winds around and ends up throwing off getting Bo to therapy on time (curse you blog writer who quit telling her daughter to hurry and now taunts me with guilt when i use that phrase).

anyway, i decided on one of those days, that sometimes that's ok. i don't think that God intended us to be chipper and glass half full all the time. i don't. i'm pretty sure people don't enjoy being around people who never seem to so much as stub their toe (and i'm pretty sure that sometimes i try to be that person to keep from appearing to be a bitter betty or a sad sally or a burden to anyone.) anyway, i'm pretty sure that God planned on us being sad or overwhelmed from time to time since He suggested we cry with those who cry and mentioned in the Bible that there is a time to weep. so i guess it's ok to camp there for a period of time as long as i remember that He doesn't want us to live there.

but just so you know . . . sometimes i wake up and i can't believe how blue the sky seems. sometimes i cannot believe that i get to live the life i have. sometimes i look up from my book at the pool (yes, i just used the word book and pool in the same sentence) and i see my kids playing with each other and laughing and they can all swim and i remembered money for the snack bar during adult swim and it's only 80-something in august and i can't imagine that i could ever feel anything but happy. sometimes i serve a nutritious dinner that people like and sometimes the laundry is not just done, it's also put away and all the beds are made. sometimes i can list things that i like about myself and my husband and my kids all at the same time. sometimes the diet dr. pepper is the perfect amount of fizzy. sometimes i wake up before my alarm and sometimes i run faster and further than i thought i could. sometimes i am keenly aware of my blessings and have the chance to reach out to someone less blessed that moment.

so at those times, i will be thrilled that there is also a time for laughing and a time for dancing and i will happily camp there for a while too.

Mother's Day

I am a very lucky mom to get to attempt to not screw up too badly the 4 sweet boogers God gave me.

I know that in their short lives so far, I have created many "couch worthy" moments. (My and Josh's term for events that will probably send them to therapy. Ha ha.) But last week a thought also occurred to me that freed me up just a little bit.  And since I am nothing if not giving, I thought I would take a minute to share it with you.

They remember things differently than we do.

(And this is a very good thing most of the time.)

I had this little revelation when I went to Bo's kindergarten tea and read all about me according to Bo. Here are some highlights:

 - I am 20 tall and 10 pounds. (Awesome. What does that even look like?)

 - My favorite food is ham. (I actually am not a big fan of ham at all, but my family loves it, so I serve it.)

 - He loves that I make cupcakes. (Hmmmm. Not sure when I last made cupcakes, but if he remembers me doing it, then score!)

 - I read his Bible with him. (Do I ever? Yes. Would it have been something I guessed he remembered and recorded? No. Because I don't think I do it regularly enough.)

And therein lies my point. He's not measuring me against my standard for me. He's probably not measuring me against anything--he's remembering the times he felt happy or loved. He can't remember every detail of his day or week or month, etc. But he will probably catch the overarching themes.

Sigh of relief.

(Now, I do have one of my four who will be more likely to remember the times I missed it or the times he/she felt bad, but even he/she won't recall every mistake.)

So, maybe I can give myself a little grace and try to make a few outstanding memories that will stick with them and worry less about creating a therapy fund.

Happy Mother's Day.

Words

Running out of words is not something I usually struggle with (just ask my mom, or my husband, or my kids). There is a legendary story my Granny used to tell about the time she and my great-aunt Verna took me to Austin . . . back in the day, backseat seat belts were not required, so I scooted myself up to the back of their seats up front and wrapped one arm around each headrest and proceeded to start talking. Hours later, one of them turned around and said, "Could you just shut up for one minute? Please?" (Or something very close to that.)

Anyway, finding words isn't usually a problem. And even now, in this season of life I am in, it's not so much FINDING them as it is having the time to filter them or record them or even acknowledge them. There is so much noise in my life right now that, sometimes, it's like I can't even hear my own thoughts. But to be honest, sometimes it's more that I am just craving silence.  There is such bliss in quiet.

Lately, however, I have felt a void in my life. It's the feeling I have when I am missing a friend. I realized this weekend that it was writing that I miss . . . 

When I was in the 5th grade, my dad asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told him either a writer or an FBI agent/CSI-type person. (It's ok, I laughed a little too typing it.) I would like to stop here and give my parents some credit for instilling enough confidence in me to have 2 such diverse and lofty vocational dreams. And I'd really like to thank them for then setting me up to meet with someone who worked in the crime lab and a professional writer/editor. It is something that stayed with me forever. They believed I could be either of those things.

Somewhere along the way, the CSI/FBI dream withered away, but my hopes to write stayed with me. In high school, my favorite classes were easily Southern Writers and Advanced Writing. (Both with Mrs. Blackburn.) My Creative Writing class in college was another favorite. When I am happy, I want to write; when I am sad, I want to write. In my head, even when I can't get to a computer or a notebook, I am often narrating my situation or my emotions or whatever the kids have just done. It is my outlet and my sanity. And (Josh, no comment) I think it would be safe to say that lately I have been lower on the sane chart than other times.

A few years ago, my mom introduced me to the Big Mama blog. It made me laugh out loud. I can totally relate to her and I love her writing style. Before I knew it, she was part of my daily routine. My mom and I sometimes act like she's actually a friend of ours. Not long after I started reading her, that same longing I described earlier overcame me. I knew I wanted to write on a regular basis, and so my blog began. And with the blog came other opportunities to write; I also found myself writing and saving it and dreaming of one day putting together a book. I met Jeannette (my editor) and realized that maybe, just maybe, my dream could be part of God's plan for my life.

This is NOT some announcement about being published. It's a thankful post because I know that even though life is crazy and it's harder than ever to find the time to write, I need to. I owe it to myself and (cheezy as it sounds), I owe it God. It's a hope He planted in me and I would be wasting His gift and missing out on something to ignore it. 

Thanks to my mom, I had enough alone time this weekend to actually have these thoughts and realizations. And, thanks to my mom, I got to meet Big Mama this past weekend. I was very excited to thank her for reminding me that I loved to write. 

Here we are Friday night . . . yes, I know it's blurry. I don't care. I was so tired at that point that this is what she actually looked like to me. Ha.

And this was her response to my thanks . . . 

Writing for me won't always be on this blog, but there will always be writing . . . 

80's, Mardi Gras, and some love

Almost 20 years ago (sigh, that hurts to type), I set off for college. While I graduated from UGA, I spent the first year and a half at Belmont University where I met some of the best friends in the world. There is something about the first year away at college that is very bonding--that and they are just amazing girls. I wouldn't change my college transfer at all, but I never made better friends than I had in Nashville. We have done a lot of laughing over the last couple of decades . . . a lot of crying too. Some of my smarter and dumber moments were made with these girls. We've walked each other through some of the best and the worst moments of our lives. And, really, we could not be more different, yet we work and we fit and when we have long amounts of time between us, it's crazy how quickly we pick up right where we left off.

This weekend, we managed to reunite to celebrate the marriage of Amanda and Jason. Amanda married (in total Baker style) in Hawaii over the summer, pretty much unplanned, but just right. We had the "bachelorette" party at the Baker's and did some awesome 80's karaoking. And a lot of laughing. The hair, the clothes and the company were just what I needed after a long week of working and mommying.

Saturday included a delicious brunch prepared by Superwoman/Donna Baker. And what weekend with the girls (and John) doesn't include shopping? Josh joined us towards the end of our little spree and then we all got gussied up for the Mardi Gras themed celebration. My legs are still sore from the dancing and my cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling. It was one of the best weekends and I am so thankful for these girls. I've known them for half of my life and I am so glad that we have a long way to go and many more memories to make.

Here are a few then and now snapshots (Aims, I couldn't find any uploaded of us from the early years--that's how long we've been friends!) . . .

 dinner at Mike Jay's 

 Disco partay

the bride and I back in the day heading out to bootscoot

 Aimee (Chicago), me, Amanda (Dallas), Betsy (Knoxville), and Jill (Nashville)

 Thanks for the rides, Randy, and good for you!

I'm not gonna lie . . . the mask was fun. If you only knew how many pics we took with the masks . . . 

Finally, a little taste of the talented Mrs. Amanda Baker Adams. Y'all, girl has some chords. (I so wish I had Betsy's solo to finish off the evening, but alas, my phone had died.)

Congrats to the whole Baker-Adams clan . . . I cannot wait to see what God has in store for you!

Truiser Bruiser's birthday

Yesterday was Tru's 9th birthday. Nine. Wow. I cannot believe my bobblehead baby is 9. I am so proud of the kid he is and the young man he is growing up to be. He has a tender heart and such a creative bent. He's smarter than I am without question, and we have discovered in the last year that he has such an interest and knack for videos--acting and producing. He LOOOOVVVEEESS to make Lego movies on his iPod and is really very clever with his story lines and action. He and Josh also were in this video for a men's study that is hilarious. His belly laugh is the most contagious thing ever, too. He is STILL a Lego-maniac and that makes me super happy. Tru has become a green belt in karate and is continuing to train and test. He wants to go all the way to black so he can make a poster to warn mean kids at school. He is suggesting a pic of him in his karate uniform with the words BULLIES BEWARE below him . . . love that kid.

Tru . . . you are such an amazing guy . . . I love seeing how God created you with your technical mind and your creative spirit and how they come together in such delightful ways. I love watching you absorb information like oxygen and retain it all. You have such a sensitive heart and really notice and look out for people. I am beyond words proud of how amazing you are with your contacts--didn't think it would ever be this good! One of my most favorite things about you is what an individual you are--you know who you are and what you like and that's all that matters to you. I want to be like you when I grow up! I am so glad that you are my son and I pray that we will raise you to love God well and to use your gifts just the way He intended them. I am such a lucky mama and I love you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so to infinity much, my little booger. Love, your nose!

The speed of life

or not the year of the blog . . .

we are all alive and well (or mostly well, sassy has strep) . . . just enjoying the crazy life we have created. dancing and karate-ing and going to OT and ST and working, working, working.

my words are somewhere jammed up in my head and sometimes i can't seem to get them out verbally, much less in eloquent prose for the world wide web.

so, instead . . . here are 3 pics that haven't made the blog but make me smile . . .

 from the lice incident. purposefully didn't blog about that. i'd rather NOT remember

 who better to fight fires than a super hero?

love the dawgs and our favorite bald fan

Happy New Year! I canNOT believe it is 2013 . . . that's why every legal document I signed yesterday was dated 1/3/12.

Whoops.

Our Christmas was good--it was white and crazy and fun and we had 4 very happy kiddos. This year was one of those sweet years where no one had huge requests or expensive gift wants or really even a long list. We were pulling ideas out of them to cover the grandparents and aunts and uncles and us. I love that. Because sometimes they seem like greedy little farts. It's true. Sometimes they are. But when the commercialism wanes in them some and they are content and happy with anything they get, I am thankful to know I haven't completely ruined them. Yet.

To record for posterity's sake . . . Caroline asked for a sewing machine from Santa . . . we are still trying to get it up and running. Nice. Tru wanted a white board. (We don't know why either. It's random.) Bo chose a blue Batman costume. And Sascha wanted a My Little Pony castle. I guess they all ended up on the nice list since Christmas morning we awoke to the 4 things listed above. I will say, Sascha came pretty close to ending up on the naughty list, but a last minute phone call from Santa Christmas Eve straightened her right up.

We are all missing Jingle, the elf. He was always good for a laugh or for some behavior modification encouragement. Caroline is convinced Jingle will fall in love this year and come back married. Fingers crossed, Jingle, that this is your year for love.

Here are some pics from our celebrations:

 The boys' Christmas parties at school

 Making Christmas Eve pass faster with some crafts . . . edible winter villages. 

 Sassy. Wonder why we call her that?

 Sweet sisters

 The real Basses

  Christmas Eve service at church. (Pretending we are civilized)

 Opening presents at Nana and Papa's

 I love this baby. 

 Baby Dabis, Darwin, sweet cheeks and his mommy

 Cookies for Santa

 Mommy peeked before letting them upstairs

And aren't we glad everyone got some hats and gloves in their stockings because . . . 

The Blizzard of 2012:

 My family and the Matsons are behind those hard hitting snow pellets . . . we decided to go caroling in the snow and they joined us for a snowball fight. We only had about 6 inches at that time.

 Then the power went out so all the kids piled onto the couch bed with a zillion blankets and slept Little House on the Prairie style.

Such an amazing view from our street . . . and once the power came back on, it was all so much prettier. Ha!

So what do you do in a blizzard? We sledded, threw snowballs, cuddled by the fire, played games, read. Everything slowed down--what a gift that was for us!

 best sled run by Mr. Marty--love our neighbors!

 Lego Bo

 Tate didn't love the snow . . . we found some infamous yellow snow on the deck because he wouldn't venture all the way down

 He did enjoy playing cards with us though! Nana and Papa spent a night too because their power was still out. 

And maybe my favorite pic is the one of Bo dressed as a pirate playing Pirates of the Caribbean on X-Box. He loves dressing up!

But all good vacations must come to an end--Caroline started school this week. Josh went back to work and I started my part-time job doing marketing for our favorite Chick-fil-a. The boys don't go back til next Wednesday and I am so confused on what day it is that I almost missed one of Bo's therapies. It has been nice to not have dance and karate and all the other multitude of activities we find ourselves doing; I am sure that I will remember how to do it all, but the suburban and I have enjoyed the rest.

Here's to a great 2013 and while I am against resolutions, I do hope to blog more. 

Sometimes it takes a baby . . .

So, this year my Christmas letter is by blog only. I lost my address list and have been running a week behind all month . . . so this is the best I can do. I managed to send out some cards, but am at least 25 short of what I usually send out (by what my poor brain can recall) . . . some years you hit a homerun and some years you are just happy to be on the team. This year it's the latter for me.

2012 has been full. Sometimes that's good and sometimes that fullness has felt heavy. One commitment that I made as our family grew was that I would be intentional about making sure each child felt as important as if they were the only one we had--programs, activities, birthdays, etc. Somedays I do better than others, but the older they get, the more complex this commitment gets. But even when it's hard, it's always a privilege to fall into bed exhausted each day trying to accomplish it.

Without further ado, here is a quick summary of why we are so blessed and so tired:

Caroline - 10 (still going on 20) - Caroline is still dancing, dancing, dancing. She is up to 5 days a week now and loving it. We are about to launch into our 3rd competitive season and she is really excited because this year she has added a duet and a solo to her list. Caroline started middle school this year at Pulaski Academy (my alma mater). One would think that middle school plus a new school might cause stress and be traumatic, but Caroline has jumped in with such excitement and loved every single second of it! She has made some amazing friends, cheered for the 5th grade football team and mastered changing classes and having a locker. It's crazy to think that I have middle schooler. As parents, we could NOT be more thrilled with her teachers and the administration and school. It's one thing to love a school as a student, but to be back as a parent and realized it IS as wonderful as I remembered is really special.

Tru - 8 - I guess about this time last year, we were really just starting the eye saga. Our sweet Tru Bud has been diagnosed with a couple of eye conditions/diseases that I never spell or pronounce correctly, but basically mean he has to wear hard contacts everyday. Oh the pain and tears shed trying to get the contacts in and out and train his eyes to tolerate them. But, trooper that he is, Tru has persevered and now prefers them most days because he can see better! In more fun news, Tru is taking Karate and has moved up to a Green Belt. He loves for us to drop him off and tell him to kick bootie. (Because he literally gets to and what kid doesn't giggle at that word?!) My favorite thing that Tru has done this year is discover his love for movie making. Using his iPod touch, he plans out a "story line" and then uses his Legos and an app to make short movies. They are surprisingly entertaining and usually come with a belly laugh from him.

Bo - 6 - Bo started kindergarten this year. It still makes my heart ache to type that. I miss his hugs every day. He has done well--better than we imagined he would given some of his sensory issues. He has an amazing teacher who has fallen in love with him and (thankfully) is a hugger (or at least doesn't mind that he needs a lot of them). One day I will do a post that explains more about the way Bo was fearfully and wonderfully made, but he is doing so well. Bo played soccer in the spring and was way more interested in chasing shadows and grasshoppers than the ball, but he had a great time doing it and loved his soccer uniform! This fall, his activities are school and occupational and speech therapies. He loves his therapists so much that he sees going as a treat for him, not hard work (although he does work hard). We are so proud of his perseverance and so proud of his love for and success at reading. I get such a thrill hearing him read not just books, but also sound out street signs and billboards as we drive.

Sascha - 4 - Well. Where to start with Sassy. She is . . . unique, fun, challenging, sweet, spirited. She is 100% her and I would not recommend crossing her :) Sascha is also dancing and this year we are letting her compete in a mini-company that will do a couple of local competitions. She LOVES dance and begs to go everyday. I canNOT wait to see those little bits on stage--she will do one lyrical (sweet and angelic dance) and one hip hop wearing sunglasses, a bomber jacket and combat boots. Tell me you are not also DYING to see that! We are working on channeling her, um, stubbornness towards good. We know that God created her just the way she is and we know that He has big plans for her. Somedays I wish I was more like her, to be honest. :)

Josh - Josh is still selling drugs (that's how Tru describes his job). He is really, really good at it too. This year, he has received several accolades from his VP, placed top 5 in a national contest over the summer, and became a field trainer. Josh's boss is very into physical fitness and that has launched Josh's love of running and exercising to a new level. Last month, his precious grandfather, Babe, died and we had the privilege of celebrating his life and legacy with Josh's family and their hometown.

Rachel - I am trying to set a record for how many miles I can put on the Suburban each week. (Total, our hunk of junk has 170,000). I have started working again, doing a few contract things from home, but in January I fo real go back to work doing marketing for Chick Fil A. Have cow, will travel is my new motto. I am excited and nervous at the same time . . . I am happy to use my brain and talk to adults and I think that I will be pretty good at this, but adding something else to my very full plate is a bit overwhelming. I know that God dropped this opportunity in my lap though, so I know that He will give me everything I need to accomplish it all.

And really, isn't that true for everything? He gives us all we need for this life. And He knows what we need . . . not just because He's God (although that is definitely enough), but also because He was man. He lived here for 33 (or so) years and KNOWS what we go through. He was tempted and hurt just like us. God could have delivered us however He wanted to. He could have sent Jesus as a man and allowed Him to have a brief ministry and then save us. He could have chosen NOT to save us. But in His infinite wisdom, He chose to send a baby. Because there is something about a baby that softens even the hardest of hearts and most cynical of cynics. There is something about a baby that heals wounds and starts the mending of relationships. The newness of life. The promise of a future. The innocence and wash of love. There is just something about a baby. Glory to the newborn king. Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled.

Merry Christmas to all of you! We hope that you have a wonderful 2013!

Lots of love,
The Bass Family

Sascha, Bo, Tru, (cousin) Davis, and Caroline

sometimes words fail

have you ever just stared and stared at something, willing it to be different?

i have found myself staring at the computer or my phone many times today hoping and praying that what i see will change.

there is a girl . . . i guess we are women, but whatever . . . there is a precious woman named sarah who is in an icu bed in austin, texas fighting for her life. her 3 children (the youngest turned 2 this week) are at home with grandparents missing their mommy. her friends and parents are holding prayerful, vigilant watch by her bed. and many of us who know her through so and so or from this or that are staring at our phones and computers waiting for updates. we are all begging God to let this be a Christmas miracle. we are baffled that this could be for good. we are aching for her family and close friends.

please join all of us and pray for sarah henry. pray for God to intervene. pray for a miraculous healing. pray for Him to be the Prince of Peace in this situation. fall on your knees and beg that her 3 children will be spared the pain of losing their mother. nothing is too big for God.

Babe

I was 21 the first time I met Babe. My Pop had been gone for a little over 3 years and I hugged Babe's neck a little tighter than I might have for a first time hug because he smelled just like Pop. I, along with everyone else who ever met Babe, was instantly smitten with him. He had an ease about him, a familiarity even if you had just met; he abounded in kindness and had a laugh that was so contagious I snicker now just thinking about it. And oh could he tell a story.

Tom White was a legend in his own time. The kind of man they write about. The kind of man a small town named 2 things after because he was that special and that influential. To us kids, he was known as Babe, the grandfather that handed out money and Sprite and wisdom. To much of Moultrie, Georgia, he was known as Coach. A lover of football and education, Babe invested in so many and no one was a bigger Colquitt County Packer fan. The Packers are pretty big fans of him too, naming their beloved football field after their beloved Coach. And up until about 8 years ago, if Babe wasn't talking football, he was talking running. Josh says much of his childhood was spent with Nonnie and Babe at road races that Babe couldn't get enough of. The man ran the Peachtree 10K on the 4th of July every summer until his legs literally couldn't carry him. You could be sure to find several pairs of running shoes by the back door . . . and even more sure that they would be full of baby powder. About 13 years ago, the town of Moultrie put in a running trail, and to Babe's great surprise and delight, named it for him. The man is an institution in South Georgia.

Nonnie will tell you that she fell in love with Babe in the 2nd grade. And she has loved him ever since. She caught his eye after the war and they have remained quite the pair. They honestly had the kind of love you usually only read about. I never heard them really use a cross word with each other. And all over the house are notes from him to her tucked away or taped to a mirror. Nonnie has cared faithfully for Babe over the last several years that he has been sick. And Saturday night, her grandsons moved a recliner next to his bed so she could keep vigil comfortably. In sickness and in health, 'til she was was generous enough to release him so only death could part them.

No child ever went without shoes or a coat if Babe caught wind of it. No person was ever treated as less than. No one ever walked in his door without being greeted and attended to. Babe was a generous soul. A lover of God and faithful servant. He and Nonnie raised 4 wonderful children who have given back to him in this time without a second thought. Beth and John live in town and have been there lovingly caring for him in every way imaginable. Mike visits faithfully from close by, and Ann (who lives in Valdosta) even bought a house across the street so she could be more available to help. They would all tell you it's been their greatest privilige.

Early this morning, Babe took his last labored breath. I honestly believe he entered into glory wearing a new pair of Nikes (pronounced as if it rhymes with yikes, by the way). I can imagine him running through the streets of gold, free from the body that had failed him. I am quite sure he has held an audience with the saints and told them some great stories, maybe a few of them knew enough to call "George" on him every now and then. Most of all, I am convinced that he heard our God greet him, "Well done, good and faithful servant" because there have been few better or more faithful than he.

Babe, thanks for loving me as one of your own all these years. I am a better person for having known you and been taught by you. I always think of you when I run and I look forward to a day when we can run together. Your legacy and your love will go on and we can never thank you enough for being who you were. I love you, Babe, and I count it a true honor to have called you grandfather for the last 15 years.

Bo Bo

2 weeks ago we celebrated our sweet, sweet Bo Bo. This post has been in my head and heart for the last 14 days, I am just not in a daily blog place . . . wish I were.

Anywho, we had a blast celebrating him! He is 150% into superheroes . . . Batman and Spiderman in particular. So we took a chance on a nice Arkansas, fall day and booked a pavilion at a local park. Thank the Lord the day was BEAUTIFUL and the kids ran around on the playground and fought off bad guys. I had this really cute idea to have Josh or Caroline steal the cake and let the kids fight them with silly string for it, but I got a mild case of stage fright and it wasn't pulled off quite the way I imagined it. Oh well. The kids loved the park and the cake and that's all that matters!!

Then, on Thursday, we woke Bo up singing Happy Birthday and gave him his presents from us along with the traditional Bass family donut breakfast. His presents were ALL Spiderman themed and he was pretty darn happy about it!

I checked that angel out for lunch (at 10:15, because that is his lunch, so really, I checked him out for brunch!) and we met my parents at Cracker Barrel . . . he had planned his birthday lunch 6 weeks earlier!! Can you even stand how cute he is?

Finally, some therapy and Razorback Pizza and one more Spiderman cupcake and this birthday boy was worn out and ready for bed!

Oh. My. Heart.

Sweet Bo, you are such a light in our family. You have passion and joy that are hard to contain. I am so thankful I get to me your mommy. You have taught me so much about perseverance and functioning even under less than ideal circumstances. I am so proud of how hard you work in therapy to learn how to express yourself and to overcome your sensory issues. Mrs Lauren and Mrs Natalie are always bragging on you.

I can't believe that you are 6 years old and in kindergarten! I am blown away with how well you are adjusting and doing. You are so smart and a great reader and Mrs. Shelton says that you work hard to please and do the right thing. I love the way you bound out of bed every morning, ready to tackle the day with that great smile on your face. It melts my heart.

I know that God has great things for you. You win hearts over left and right and dive head first into what is asked of you. I cannot wait to see the man he has created you to be . . . and each step along the way thrills me too!

Looking at the picture of us in your bed cuddling reminds me of another thing I am grateful for . . . as I learn more and more about the way God made you, I am SO incredibly thankful that He allowed you to need hugs and snuggles to ease your sensory issues. What a gift to know that my touch actually benefits you . . . your touch is also soothing and comforting to me. A hug from you can turn my day around.

Bo, we are so so glad you are our Bo Bass and are so incredibly proud of you. Happy 6th Birthday!!!

I love you to pieces!